Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
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