he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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