brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Randomize
