wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Randomize
