so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
