I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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