"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
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