GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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