Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Randomize
