i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
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