Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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