If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Just puked most of my soul out..
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