I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Randomize
