She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
