Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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