Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
