Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
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