I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Randomize
