they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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