we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize