filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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