WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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