shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
