Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
