You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Randomize