Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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