He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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