it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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