Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
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