bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
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