If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
