You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
