your room smells of hookers.
And success
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Randomize
