sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
He felt like a one man threesome
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Randomize
