I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
did i just pee glitter
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
