Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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