Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
soo... how was my night?
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