Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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