There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize