May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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