i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Randomize
