i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
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