Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
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