She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
