So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Randomize
