Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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