i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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