Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
