I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
