thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
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