im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
false alarm, still single
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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