Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
