Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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