yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
