Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Randomize
