How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
