the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
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